Being Pregnant

Babies, bless their souls, have always given me the creeps -  but here’s hoping my own wont!!

Over the last 7 months me and Carl have been through, and are going through, an incredible journey.  We got married at Samlesbury Hall then found out over New Year that I was pregnant !

Pregnancy is a lot of things. It is the gift of life. It is a miracle. It is exciting…to create a life. To carry that life within your body for nine months is so clever, to nurture it, to feel it grow, to create another human being. It is incredible and I do feel so lucky when others are not as fortunate as me.

It is also horrifying, scary, dramatic and bizarre. Things happen… strange things, not nice things, things you don’t expect, things change colour, things drop, things no one warns you about.  If women were warned, the human race would not grow as quickly, I am sure !!!

On finding out I was pregnant, I vomited from excitement, then chocked on the tears. Hid under the duvet, told my new husband (and allowed him to go to the pub for the rest of the afternoon) so we could make sense of the news.  I made everyone promise not to say a word, fell asleep, everywhere, on everything and watched countless episodes of One Born Every Minute - and cried again, frightened to death and already deciding I could not do this !!

I thought of a cute way to announce to my 2143 friends on facebook (that I never talk to) that I was expecting - I said "Woohooo !!!"

After the second month I finally felt out of the woods, after feeling like I was on a boat that wouldn't’ stop rocking, (no one warned me about that).  I also thought "I can do this, lots of woman do this, I have to do this".  Irrational thoughts, and baby brain, start to kick in such as " If/when Carl has a bath, will it fall through the ceiling if he fills it with too much water ?"  So I tell Carl to only half fill the bath!! 

I also feel very overprotective of Bob, our three legged cat, maybe this is me practicing ?   I worry about the sheep being cold in the winter and wet in the rain.   Drivers not signaling anger me to a new level, I now beep, wave, signal and wildly throw my hands in the air to them in disgust. 

I am now in month 6 and baby Brown is kicking.  Gone are the, “ooo shes let herself go since the wedding" , "is she just really fat?” days… now it is obvious that I am having a baby. So what happens? I get annoyed when people mention it, and offended when they don’t. Baby’s kicks are getting harder now. I can no longer breathe easily because the baby is getting bigger. Sleep happens sometimes. Not all the time. And when it doesn't, I fill my long nights with anxiety and worry about everything from Bob the cat, to the sheep being cold on the hills... to finishing work to.......... CHILDBIRTH !!!